Unions condemn action as Union of Union-Workers votes to strike

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There were accusations and no small amount of confusion today as the Union of Union Workers announced an overwhelming vote by its members in favour of strike action in their long-running dispute with Union bosses over pay and union representation.

UwU boss Jim Cooper was in defiant mood following the results of today’s vote, threatening to bring chaos to the summer strike-season after 95% of the highly unionised Union-workers voted in favour of strikes.

‘We have received an overwhelming mandate for action,’ declared Mr Cooper, ‘and if the Union bosses continue to refuse our invitations to negotiate then we will not hesitate to use whatever means necessary to resolve this issue.’ The UwU plans a series of escalating 48- and 72-hour strikes beginning in late June if demands are not met. The dates chosen are, however, controversial because they coincide with traditionally popular strike times, when unions are at their busiest.

One of the Union bosses due to be meeting with Mr Cooper at ACAS next week is Jim Cooper of the Union Workers Union. He was in defiant mood today after hearing of the ballot results and condemned the proposed action as irresponsible. ‘These strikes have been cynically timed to coincide with key strike days in the Union calendar,’ declared Mr Cooper. ‘We have offered a generous, industry-leading package but the Unions are determined to deprive hard-working Union members of their summer strike-days by irresponsibly going on strike when we should all be busy striking. Unions rely on union-workers to organise their strikes and are being held to ransom by the unions threatening to strike at critical strike-times.’

An ACAS spokesman tonight said ‘We’re just worried he’ll wear out the carpet running round the table!’


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Posted: Jul 12th, 2019 by

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