Conservative leader candidates, Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt, have taken to the hustings to fight it out over their plans to leave the virtual reality realm of Tron. Pro and anti ‘no deal’ activist drones were in evidence as the two entered the arena and made their arguments from the debating pods, to the delight and derision of the crowd.
Front-runner Boris directed at ire at the Tron realm itself, calling it a ‘virtual reality prison’ full of ‘blocky sprites with Pacman smiles’, and presented his indefatigable commitment to download the nation out of its matrix by August 31. Hunt, formerly of the ‘remain and reprogram’ camp, expressed his desire to negotiate with the ENCOM Master Program to try and find a workable patch.
Current Prime Minister Theresa May herself failed to successfully negotiate a workable exit deal with the ENCOM Master Program. A malicious artificial intelligence with a monotonous voice and no human empathy, Mrs May announced her resignation earlier this year.
Mr Johnson, who during the campaign claimed that leaving the cyber world would be ‘easy peasy’ with the use of a ‘giant experimental laser’, maintained his position, blaming Theresa May for ‘not making an experimental enough laser’, provoking cheers from many Trexiteers in the arena. However, has been accused by others for working only in his own interests and buckling under pressure from the 1982 committee.
In the case of no overall winner, the contest will climax with a light-bike race – a deadly gladiatorial contest designed to determine the ultimate fighting champion requiring dexterity, tenacity and daring, which is based on Snake.