Trump threatens trade-war with Moon

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President Donald Trump last night surprised his staff and bemused the world’s economists by announcing on Twitter that he would be placing tariffs on goods and services imported from the moon.

“US has spend $bns on the moon over years an got nothing bak,” began one Tweet, concluding with “MUST END NOW!!!”. Another statement read “If the balance with the moon is not under control by August 15th we will put tarrifs on all cheese imports, starting at 15% and rizing 5% every moth. There mining industy cannot survive for long without us!”.

“This appears to have no connection with reality whatsoever” commented Dr Sarah Sharpe, economics professor at University College London. “There are, of course, no imports from the moon, unless you count a few kilos of moon-rock brought back in the early ’70s,” she continued, “and although those samples are priceless to scientists there is no on-going movement since nobody has visited the moon in nearly 50 years. As for the cheese thing? Well frankly the man’s demented.”

Whitehouse sources confirmed that the President was taking sanctions with the moon very seriously and suggested that he had also considered building a wall to prevent illegal crossing over the border from the moon. President Trump has, however, been convinced by advisors that the technology does not yet exist to make the wall rise and fall every night.

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Posted: Jul 16th, 2019 by

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