With the popularity of Rugby taking yet another hammer blow on Sunday with English Crickets world cup success, Rugby chiefs met at Twickenham today in an attempt to halt its slide further down the league table of world participation sports.
Rugby originally introduced to cater for Fat boys with no necks who prefer to trundle around a pitch rather then run and for players without the required ball skills to play Football, has seen a fall to just above Origami and one place behind Ludo in terms of popularity.
The meeting decided that a number of drastic rule changes are required and will take effect from next season.
Teams will be reduced from 15 to 11 and players will no longer be allowed to handle the ball.
The high posts for conversions which were introduced many years ago to accommodate players that couldn’t keep a ball down will go and points or goals will be awarded for heading or kicking the ball into a goal net.
The practice of scoring by throwing yourself on the ground will be discontinued, as will the practice of both teams engaging in a huddle or scrum and grabbing each other’s testicles.
In an attempt to keep the purists on board, players and supporters will still be encouraged to sing dirty songs, all alcoholic drinks except Ale and bitter will still be banned from club houses and fans will still be encouraged to keep up their desperate attempts to boost the popularity of rugby by criticizing Football.
The Rugby Board also decided that the terms Rugger or Footie would no longer be acceptable after players or supporters have left infant school.