Following on from reports Iran has seized two oil tankers in the Straits of Hormuz, both with British links, Boris Johnson, has contacted the 1922 Committee to ask that his name be struck from the ongoing ballot for leadership of the Tory Party.
‘Now look here, this sort of thing is not what I signed up for when seeking the party leadership. I was simply interested in getting the keys to the pad in SW1, well that and all the totty, I mean totty love power, don’t they? Oh and of course the free nosh too. You know, state banquets and lunch with The Queen. Haha… snuffle snaffle! Nom nom nom! Eh? What? Eh?’
Meanwhile there are reports that feverish diplomatic activity is going on behind the scenes to find a solution to the deepening crisis with one Whitehall insider saying: ‘We will leave no stone unturned in our efforts to ensure the 1922 Committee fully complies with Mr Johnson’s request’.