As one of his first policy announcements after being elected Prime Minister, Boris Johnson today indicated that the Government would put forward a bill to reintroduce the traditional Boxing Day hunt. Rather than the socially unacceptable fox-cull, [read...]
Henry Winkler, aka Arthur ‘The Fonz’ Fonzarelli from Happy Days, has sent his warmest congratulations to PM in-waiting Boris Johnson, after Johnson’s victorious result in the Tory Party leadership contest. Speaking from Hollywood, Winkler said: ‘This is a truly great day for me because it means that I will no longer be synonymous with the… [read...]
Ladies and Gentlemen, fellow Conservatives. It is a great honour and privilege to be elected your leader today and while I know nothing at all about honour, I am extremely familiar with privilege so when I say that this is one, [read...]
As the 1922 Committee announced that Johnson had won the Conservative leadership concert, the delight and bliss experienced by hard Brexiteers that one of their own had finally secured the Premiership was so extreme that all true believers waiting to hear the results in Queen Elizabeth Hall immediately began to vibrate in a haze of light and ascend into heaven in individual beams of light, [read...]
Lead author Dr John Pemberton of the University of Leeds warned: ‘As their sexual vigour diminishes and that of their wives peaks, men in their fifties have long got through the ordeal of conjugal relations by conjuring up an image of a lovely young girl they saw recently. [read...]
