Newly appointed Secretary of State for Education has slammed his predecessor’s amendments to the Sex Education bill. ‘Damian Hinds has left a mess, no wonder he resigned,’ fumed Mr Williamson today. ‘For goodness sake – it’s just the birds and the bees, innit?’ he asked.
Critics have questioned why he feels all avian variants reproductive processes need to be taught, yet just the shagging methodology of one, albeit important, insect species. Prime Minister, Boris Johnson appears to agree with the critics.
‘All we need to tell the little blighters is to slip something over their widgies before they pop them into the lady foo foos,’ he said. Several female commentators who apparently have known the Prime Minister seemed to wish ‘he’d slipped something over his widgie’ in the past with at least one wishing he’s slipped something over his head as well.