Reports have emerged that Chiefs of Defence Staff are concerned about entrusting the UK’s nuclear missile codes to Boris Johnson.
One senior departmental insider commenting off the record said: ‘To do so would be madness. The man is a loose cannon, metaphorically speaking, and the last thing we’d want to do is a afford him the possibility to become one for real. We simply daren’t risk it.’
‘What’s more if the need to deploy our deterrent should ever arise and our PM had to utilise the codes, secret psychological testing we have carried out since he took office last week suggests that Mr Johnson could never remember them anyway.
By the time he had tried all passwords for his many offshore investments, his ten separate Tinder accounts and Sky Q PIN, then I’m rather afraid that we’d be toast.’