‘Folks foolishly visiting public events prime cause of mass shootings’ says NRA


Following yet another senseless shooting in California the NRA has called upon Americans to stop attending food festivals, university campuses, colleges and shopping malls in such large numbers. Adding if authorities would do something to curb this reckless behaviour then the problem will go away by itself overnight.

Speaking on Fox News NRA regional branch secretary, Zeke Zance, said: ‘Places where folks gather are the consistent factor in these kinds of very rare incidents. If assemblies like this were to be discouraged, or better still outlawed, then there wouldn’t be a problem. We’re calling for less gatherings of folks in public, or ideally none at all if possible. Yes sir, folks gotta taking more responsibility about where they choose to go for their hard-earned recreation and enjoyment, not to mention their learning of letters and numbers.’

‘And let me tell you this, boy, by persisting in gathering together in large groups, the public take a lot of the skill out of mass killing, making it a completely un-sporting recreation. They’re making it too dang doggone easy. Many of our members would like more of a challenge.’

Meanwhile President Trump has sent his heartfelt condolences to the victims and their families. Speaking at the White House he said: ‘Now is not the time to talk with knee-jerk emotional reactions and it’s way too soon for us to be talking about gun-law reform. But one point I would make is that if people didn’t turn up at these events, then shooters would have nothing to shoot at.’

But get this folks, you can be sure we will be fully investigating where the good guys with the guns were at this food festival’ Cos if they’d been there as they should have been, hey, who organises a food festival without armed guards, then we’d not be discussing this.’

Switching to the third personal singular to emphasise his point, whatever the hell he thought it was, he added: ‘Donald J Trump promises that he will get to the bottom of this and he will not flinch from implementing whatever it takes to consign these barbarous and inhumane acts to being nothing but a distant bad memory in America’s history. FACT!’

‘Just so long as it doesn’t affect his position regarding the current massive levels of support and funding he receives from the NRA.’

hat-tips Titus & sinnick

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2019 by

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