Royal circles are in a spin as today after Prince Charles admitted he’s fallen on hard times and is now in a significant financial hole after an ill-advised money deal turned sour and left him ‘in rather a pickle’.
Speaking in an upcoming Channel 5 documentary to his longtime friend the well known horticultural makeover expert and gardening author, Alan (Bonny) Titchmarsh, Britain’s heir to the throne dropped his earth-shattering bombshell .
‘The truth is that I’m skint, Alan. I’ve got major money problems and every penny I earn from the civil list, in addition to my other many business interests, goes to paying back a loan I took out with a payday lender several years back. It was only for five hundred quid too, to get my boys (Harry and William Windsor) out of a bit of a tight spot do you see?’
‘But things seemed to really spiral out of control after I missed just one single repayment. I had thought the interest rate of 1347% APR seemed pretty reasonable but it seems that somehow I now owe twenty-seven trillion pounds. I’m ruined and don’t know where to turn next.’
However help could be at hand for the forlorn future monarch, because after his woes came to light eighty five year-old widow, Ethel Burbage, immediately announced that she is to sell her hovel in Peckham and will give the proceeds to Charles to help settle his debt. She told The Daily Mail ‘I don’t need the bleedin’ money, and anyway, living in a cardboard box in some dodgy shop door until I croaks it is the least I can do after all what he’s done for the country, aint it?’