As the US reels from the shock of another gun massacre, lawyers for other killers have demanded a percentage of any advertising revenue or ‘thoughts and prayers’. They argue that ‘crazy white guy, kills folks’ is a direct copy if the 1970’s disco classic ‘play that funky music, white boy…then shoot everyone’.
One mass murderer complained: ‘He was playing all my greatest hits; disillusioned teenager, bad haircut, obsession with Katie Hopkins tweets’.
In court, a vinyl album was played backwards to show the similarities. The prosecutor said: ‘If you listen carefully, you can clearly hear Satan speaking – and that’s my clients signature tune’.
All future US massacres will be required to be more original, with a greater diversity of killer and choice of weapon. It will sound far more interesting when we hear of ‘Amish kills 20 using spork’.