Imagine Boris Johnson’s surprise when he came across 2.5 billion pounds for a no-deal Brexit while treasure hunting on an ‘offshore bank’ last week.
‘It was just sitting here, blind bit of luck if you ask me’ Boris was heard saying while standing on top of the large pile of unmarked notes. Boris looked triumphant, holding his bucket and spade, wearing his favourite propeller hat.
When asked by reporters how he found this “offshore bank”, Boris said: “there’re loads of treasure maps in Parliament, all leading to these “offshore banks”. Who knows where they all came from!’
According to sources, the money may have been buried last year by former Prime Minister Theresa May, in an attempt to grow a magic money tree.