Julian Assange tried to escape prison disguised as Pamela Anderson

pamela-anderson

A Brazilian gang leader foiled in attempting to escape from prison disguised as his daughter has confessed he was inspired by to seek freedom by Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange.

In a remarkable incident at HMP Belmarsh recently it has emerged that Julian Assange, serving 50 weeks for a bail violation narrowly avoided contact with the outside world by being caught trying to escape dressed as his frequent visitor, Baywatch and X Files actress, Pamela Anderson.

Police and Home Office investigators revealed the Australian hermit had undergone ‘complex medical procedures’ by an inmate in the prison’s cosmetic hospital wing, in order to transform his appearance to match Ms Anderson, in exchange for enabling Sky Boxsets on the prison TVs.

Assange, who had spent the previous seven years skateboarding inside the Ecuadorian embassy in London, was described by intervening prison officer Martin Harris, as: “Sporting a flattering vibrant red swimsuit with matching plastic floatation clutch bag, cascading sun-kissed custard-blonde curls, and a smile that would charm a restless ocean.”

Harris explained he suspected there was something wrong: “I checked the ID, everything was fine, but just before I pressed the door release I told Ms Anderson to ‘have a bonzer journey, mate!’, to which the lady replied ‘ripper’, and I knew it was Assange. That, and the enormous feet.”

Police are advising prisoners against taking such extreme measures to escape their confinement, and as a precaution, officers supervising Tommy Robinson have banned all visits by Disney characters.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2019 by

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