YouGov owe the bookies £10m


The notorious soothsayers and purveyors of Brexit dreams, have made a fatal error of betting on their predictions. YouGov now owe ‘Dave the Bookie’ a vast sum, after a failed accumulator of an early Brexit, Gove for PM and Chris Grayling ‘doing his job’.

Founded by a Conservative MP, the company boasts a panel of 5 million people worldwide; but in reality this is just Jacob Rees Mogg’s nanny and a rather sad, german octopus. Instead they have a reputation as a statistical outlier, having previously backed Lord Lucan at the last General Election.

Their latest poll quoted the Tories on 31%, Labour on 22% and the Secret Cultists of Cthulhu 612%. Aside from the the slight error in the mathematical tally, putting Cthulhu ahead of the SNP is ridiculous – but he is still beating the Lib Dems.

Explained one statistician: ‘Once you start predicting with chicken entrails, you get a taste for it – not the entrails, the predicting. I’ve just put down another 3-way bet on Trump solving gun crime, Richard Branson paying his taxes and Boris using a condom. What could go wrong?’

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2019 by

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