Meghan ruined my fantasy bromance, laments Farage

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Local radio chat show host ansd 99% of the Brexit Party, Nigel Farage, has blasted Prince Harry for settling down with a nice girl and ruining his fantasy of the two of them hanging out together.

Speaking at the prestigious Swivel-Eyed Loon Fest in Sydney, Mr Farage described how in his dreams “I was President of England, and Harry and I were like BFF. Driving fast cars, gatecrashing parties, dressing up as Nazis – well, we did do some work on the day job – socialising with some of the world’s most beautiful women with Uncle Andy and our American friends – we were living the life.”

“And then he only goes and gets married! Now it’ll never happen. He has to stay in and look after the kids. Why can’t they get a Polish nanny like everyone else? My dreams have fallen off a cliff, just like my social media mentions between Boris becoming PM and me making this speech.”

“On top of that, she’s – not ginger. You know, olive skinned. Like a black olive. Nice arse though.”

 

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2019 by

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