As Prime Minister Boris Johnson prepares to travel to Germany and France this week, he doesn’t expect to raise the subject of Brexit. ‘It’s old hat now, can’t be arsed to tell the truth,’ he said, extracting surprise from colleagues at the mention of telling the truth.
‘It’s not like anyone cares about Brexit any more. The French and Germans say they don’t want to discuss it, so I won’t. We’ll just quietly crash out at the end of November, have a well earned recession, boost the NHS by losing loads of vulnerable people to what is certainly going to be a hellish winter then ask the survivors to hold a General Election, what? Sounds like a spiffing plan to me.’
The Prime Minister admitted he had identified his list of duty free purchases while on State business. ‘Got to keep Carrie happy with Beaujolais and ciggies, what?’ he said.