Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, has reluctantly confirmed that he will not be able to continue day-to-day running of his party after he accidentally accepted a job of caretaker at the Twilight Home for Confused Gentlefolk, Eastbourne.
Mr Corbyn explained that amongst all the talk of caretaker governments, a letter had arrived offering the position and it was only after he had written back accepting the job that he realised that the offer wasn’t to head up delicate Brexit negotiations but was actually to act as an odd job man in the retirement home.
‘I’m not sure what he’s doing, to be honest’, said one resident, Doris, 89. ‘I thought he was just hanging around in the garden, until I realised he was just constantly sitting on the fence. ‘Here’s here so much, the manager has offered him accommodation, but he can’t decide whether to stay out or in.’
‘Well, I can’t say it’s ideal’, Mr Corbyn reported today. ‘And I’m a bit concerned that I keep getting mistaken for a resident, but I gave my word and here we are.’