Dating app user freaks out after receiving normal message

iphone

Sarah Paulley, a beauty therapist from Chester, has finally recovered from the shock of receiving a normal message from a man on a dating app.

The 22-year old was browsing the app one evening after work in the vague hope that her prince charming would appear when she least expected it.

‘I was scrolling through all of my messages like I usually do of an evening: Unsolicited dick pic, dick pic, dick pic, someone asking me if I’m up for no-strings fun, dick pic, dick pic, someone asking me for a picture of my feet, dick pic, dick pic, someone asking me if I will birth his children from my ample hips, dick pic, dick pic, someone who has a picture of himself with his mum, dick pic, and so on and so forth’ said Sarah, ‘Y’know, the norm.’

‘Then, there it was! A regular message from a nice-looking chap called Connor. He didn’t have any serial killer vibes, mentions of dealing weed, or photos of him passed out with ‘prick’ written on his head, and the message itself was charming, witty, and ended with a question about my music taste. I was so shocked that I closed my account and deleted the app.’

‘Maybe I should re-establish my profile and reply to him like a normal human being, without using the laughing emoji accompanied by the subtext of please don’t find out where I live‘ said Sarah.

‘Although to be honest, I’ll probably just wait until I’m confident he’s moved on so I can return to my comfort zone of weirdos and sexually frustrated mechanics.’

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2019 by

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