ITV2 stuns core audience with new highbrow show shocker

People-at-Tell-es-SafiGath-Archaeological-Project-in-Israel

Media experts and TV pundits have been left reeling today after ITV 2 announced it is to commission and broadcast a new show that will examine famous archaeological sites and what the world has learnt as a result of their excavation.

A spokesman for ITV said: ‘It’s time to offer an alternative to the countless hours of cheap vacuous scripted reality drivel, and to grow up as a broadcaster.’

But twenty-something couple Jayden and Shaneece Reece from Tooting aren’t happy at the prospect of watching a non-scripted reality programme on their favourite channel.

‘We like TOWIE and Made in Chelsea. We don’t know naffink about Egyptian Mummies and dusty old Romans, and that,’ said Shaneece: ‘Although if the show’s makers could somehow guarantee lots of tits and bums, you know, concentrate on reconstruction of orgies, and maybe introduce a phone-in voting system I’d be up for giving it a go,’ added a thoughtful Jayden.

However ITV 2 has been quick to reassure its core audience the normal torrent of tasteless and tawdry shite will still make up 99.9% of the schedule.

In addition to the archaeology show it simultaneously announced it will be showing a new 8-part series in the Autumn called ‘When Cock Enlargement, Anal Bleaching and Arse Implant Procedures Go Wrong’.

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2019 by

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