How to survive Prorogation

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Plan ahead – Brexit is coming.

 

In the event of a sudden closure of Parliament, paint yourself white to minimise its effects.

Stock up on a selection of fine continental cheeses and horde them in your basement.

Stock up on brochures and book your next holiday in England before the Brexit rush. Even parts of Wales are quite reasonable for tourists. Scotland is not advised.

If you run a public services consultancy company, particularly in the field of healthcare, call the government immediately and have your bank account details ready.  If you cannot contact the British government, the American government will do.

Check your credit score hourly.

Ensure you have a funeral plan in place.

With Government likely to use No deal Brexit as a further excuse for more Austerity, if you are on benefits, kiss your arse goodbye.

If you have an ongoing medical condition, see 2 above.

Make sure you know the location of your nearest food bank.

Take daily sips of Domestos to acclimatise your palate to your new ‘American’ diet.

Leave voter? Get ready to celebrate the arrival of 2m plus immigrants from all corners of the globe (Except EU).

Check your credit score half hourly.

(hattip Sir Lupus & TonyMc81)

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Posted: Aug 28th, 2019 by

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