UK orphans – 2 for 1 sale

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Percival Plucker, Managing Director of private equity group, Money for Nuthing, today defended its decision to buy up 20 Foster Care agencies, 10 of which have now been sold on for a massive profit.

Plucker, who cut his teeth on Pork Bellies, explained that the group saw an opportunity to make easy money in what is essentially a warehousing business:  ‘We simply take over a business that has a sufficient number of children or units as they are called, grow stock numbers and then when the price is right, sell on to other private equity companies even greedier then us.’

‘For a very small initial investment, we purchased The Little Angels care home, let local Social Services know that we have capacity to house the units that had been taken in as part of the Government imposed targets for removing children from their homes and kids just flooded in, all at no cost to us.  Every month we simply bill the local council until we feel the area has been drained, and then we sell up and move on.’

A Downing Street spokesman said that despite criticism from Children’s organisations nationwide, the Government is proud of its record as being the only county in Europe where money can be made from homeless children.  Asked if he felt that the company had a moral duty to children in care, children who had suffered at the hands of a broken system, children for whom society has failed, Mr Plucker replied that he didn’t understand the question.

 

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Posted: Aug 31st, 2019 by

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