‘You’re meant to win votes,’ Johnson is reminded


After suffering his sixth Commons defeat in six days, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been taken aside by his aides and reminded that votes are things you are supposed to win. One unnamed understrapper said: ‘We’ve had a quiet word and tried to spell it out for him as clearly as we can: winning votes good, losing votes bad. But I don’t think the message is getting through, so we may have to consider something more radical like a sex ban. If that doesn’t make him buck his ideas up, nothing will.’

However, some argue that this is all part of a new ‘Cummings plan’. ‘Boris set out to lose the referendum narrowly in order to make himself the hero of the anti-EU brigade and put himself next in line as PM,’ said one analyst. ‘It all went disastrously wrong when Leave actually won. But now he’s become PM anyway, he doesn’t think it makes much odds what happens in a vote.’

Rhydderch Wilson

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Posted: Sep 14th, 2019 by

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