Government energy policy has been explosively modified this week to only cover England and Wales, while also promoting vastly increased fracking just north of Carlisle. The move has been controversial, with Southern support for a breakaway power strategy significantly outweighing Scottish fears for the financial challenges of actually adopting an independent approach.
Downing Street has further increased tension with reports that the substantial amounts of coarse, impure water required in the fracking injection process, normally freely available but now in limited supply, will need to be replaced at no cost by a locally obtained alternative with similar properties, likely to be Scotland’s entire production of Irn-Bru.
However, in a nod to the important intellectual contribution that Scotland can offer, technical guidance is expected to come from north of the border with ‘Fracking Tutors’ providing ongoing intervention in the project. Mr Johnson commented that ‘these Fucking Traitors, sorry, Fracking Tutors will need to work on site and get as close to the action as possible; this really does represent a seismic shift in relations with our Scottish friends the Jockoes.’