Excited crowds gathered today at Croydon Aerodrome as Britain’s Prime Minister, Boris Johnson arrived back in triumph from Europe after his successful trip on behalf of her majesty’s subjects.
Standing on the steps of the British flag carrying BOAC aircraft, a dapper Mr Johnson, flies undone, waved a piece of paper hastily torn off a roll in the aircraft’s water closet and declared, ‘I have returned from Europe with peace for our time.’
Speaking to a crowd of up to seven people, Mr Johnson told the excited audience that “this piece of paper contains the signatures of all EU leaders, as well as mine.’ he declared, although no signatures could actually be seen. “This piece of paper will be my legacy. All my achievements can be summed up in these few sheets.”
The toilet paper then blew out of his hand and out of sight.