The Government announced today that people who wear T-shirts adorned with the image of Argentine revolutionary Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara will be compelled by law to undergo a re-education programme in a bid to help them understand the irony of their choice of apparel.
‘Many of the people buying these T-shirts simply don’t know any better and it’s right that we try to help them,’ said a government spokesman. ‘Focusing on basic history and the concept of irony, the course will address the key thinking deficits that inspired this inexplicable purchase.’
Those buying Guevara T-shirts will be required to attend a course where participants will be streamed according to their level of ignorance. ‘Sadly there are some who assume that Guevara was an ethnic-looking rock singer from before their time,’ continued the spokesman. ‘They have the furthest to travel, and we’ll ease them in gently with introductory modules such as ‘Communism for beginners’ and ‘Who was that beardy guy anyway?’’
For the marginally more informed who bought the garment to show solidarity with socialist causes, the course will principally focus on developing a proper sense of irony. Exercises will include group discussions on topics such as ‘If Guevara was still alive, what would he think about his image being commodified on a sweat-shop produced T-shirt?’ and ‘The importance of dressing well while planning for collectivist agrarian reform’.
‘Finally,’ added the spokesman, ‘those who claim to wear a Guevara T-shirt as a postmodernist statement will be spared the training course and will instead be set upon by a group of hunger-crazed militant Marxists before being ordered to sign the Pretentious Smartarse Register for the next ten years.’
But the government accepts that even after extensive training some buyers of Guevara T-shirts may still not get it. ‘Irony is a difficult thing to grasp. So those still none-the-wiser will be subject to the same fate as befell Cuban political dissidents at the hands of Guevara, and will be summarily executed by firing squad. That should help them understand.’