Boris also sold the Queen a dodgy timeshare

LONDON, ENGLAND - JULY 24: Queen Elizabeth II welcomes newly elected leader of the Conservative party, Boris Johnson during an audience where she invited him to become Prime Minister and form a new government in Buckingham Palace on July 24, 2019 in London, England. The British monarch remains politically neutral and the incoming Prime Minister visits the Palace to satisfy the Queen that they can form her government by being able to command a majority, holding the greater number of seats, in Parliament. Then the Court Circular records that a new Prime Minister has been appointed.  (Photo by Victoria Jones - WPA Pool/Getty Images)

Palace officials have today confirmed that, in addition to misleading her Majesty about the legality of proroguing Parliament, Boris Johnson also took the opportunity to sell her a dodgy timeshare in Majorca.

“It sounded so nice,” said the Queen in an official statement. “And one does get tired of going to Balmoral every year. One can have enough of midges.”

“But when we got there, the place was only half built. Apparently the builders hadn’t been paid in months, so they’d all buggered orf.”

“We found a hotel, but Philip kept complaining about the ‘bloody dago food’, so I thought it best we just came home.”

Not surprisingly, her Majesty was frosty-faced next time she met the CEO of Johnson’s Independent Trading (New York – Paris – Uxbridge and South Ruislip). However, he won her round with his contrite explanation that he’d been let down by local contractors he wouldn’t be working with again. He also said he had a new investment opportunity for her concerning an exiled Nigerian prince, and could she perhaps pass a law saying that parliament had to consist entirely of Old Etonians?

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2019 by

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