In the face of some very stiff competition, Irish singing sensation Daniel O’Donnell, has been voted the world’s blandest music act ever in an online poll for readers of Saga Magazine.
The clean-cut singer was understood to be in ‘great form altogether’ and ‘ecstatic after hearing the result’. Speaking from his 50 bedroomed mansion in Donegal he said: ‘Ah, sure this is just tremendjus for me so it is. I’ve regarded myself and my music as woefully bland for as long as I can remember, but to have now been confirmed as the world’s blandest ever is just a dream come true.’
Saga Editor, Lionel Chivers, commented: ‘It was neck-and-neck between Sir Cliff Richard and Daniel after we totted up the votes, so I was asked to make the final decision. But in the end Dan’s versions of Jim Reeves classics, Distant Drums and He’ll Have To Go, swung it. They were so hideously bland.’
A clearly disappointed Sir Cliff commented: ‘I thought I would’ve had this category sewn up, but after hearing Daniel’s latest stuff then I have to admit they have probably made the right choice. In fact his new album, Sure Mammy’s Gone to Heaven Now, makes me look ballsy and cutting-edge by comparison.’ Meanwhile, the kings of shockingly dire and utterly pointless covers, Westlife, were said to be devastated after manager Louis Walsh broke the news to them.