Experts fear access to instant online knowledge is killing pub conversation. Drunken disputes that would once go on into the early hours of the morning are now settled in seconds, thanks to high speed wifi access.
Pub landlord Jon Donnelly says an eerie silence reigns in his establishment where once people shouted and came to blows over whether birds can fly sideways.
Sociologist Martin Kayle explains that watery over-priced beer is not enough to keep an animated conversation alive for hours on end. “A minimum threshold of bone-headed ignorance must be present”, he explains. “Wikipedia has robbed us of our innocence”.
Chronic alcoholic Alan McDonald fondly remembers when he could draw a whole saloon bar into a six-hour-long dispute with some ludicrous proposition such as that Englishmen are required to practise archery for three hours a week under an archaic 13th century law.
However, he enjoyed an unforgettable nostalgic evening last week when the power was cut off in his local. “When I stated I knew for a fact that Jeremy Paxman was a hermaphrodite, that kept them going for five hours till the wifi came back on”.