Brexit developments over the coming weeks are to be distilled into an easy to-digest one-hour show, accompanied by atmospheric helicopter shots of borders in the sea, regular cutaways to eyebrow raises from Karen Brady, and with the usual cast of clueless hopefuls operating out of a historic London House.
‘People just want us to deliver Brexit, they want us to do the hard yards, as the rubber hits the tarmac and as we’re running out of road’, said Johnson, striding purposefully along Millenium Bridge, pushing a travel suitcase, with Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet playing loudly in the background.’
The Getting Brexit Done task will see Boris installed as Project Manager yet again, following a number of disastrous weeks in which he has followed poor advice from fellow team-member Dominic C. While Dominic has avoided the boardroom, Johnson has ended up in the bottom three every week, labelled a ‘Pro Rogue’ by Lord Sugar, and a ‘total bellend’ by Claude.
in the task, candidates will be instructed to go to Brussels and Ireland to try and sell their deal, armed only with a suitcase of trusted trader schemes, electronic checking systems and a vague notion of an all-island regulatory zone.
Widely expected to fail again, Boris is planning to plead with Lord Sugar to let him stay for future tasks to which he is better suited. With Week 5 of the show involving the teams making a new confectionary, Johnson is said to be already developed a Total Fudge. The Apprentice – You’re Fired team are also hoping Johnson remains on the show, as they are struggling to compile any footage for his Best Bits.