In a week that has seen a postcard signed by the Fab Four discovered in a cupboard in Wrexham and two reels of interviews with the famous foursome in a bread bin in Swansea, a bouncer from the Llandrindod Wells Wetherspoons pub claims that he has found an extended portion of human excretia in a toilet in the pub.
‘We know the Beatles passed through here in 1962 and later in 1965, it’s highly likely that John or maybe Paul could have left a log after calling in for a cup of tea,’ he said today, holding the five inch long turd encased in a Branston Pickle jar up to photographers. Auctioneers are suggesting that if the turd belonged to John Lennon or ‘the other one that died’ then it could command up to ten thousand pounds at auction. ‘Obviously, turds from McCartney and Starr are less rare – they could pump one out practically to order if they were considered valuable,’ an auctioneer explained.
Cleaners at the pub insist the turd wasn’t there when they cleaned the toilets yesterday morning, suggesting that the faecal matter may be of a more recent origin. ‘We often get floaters in here that won’t flush, sometimes I have to pick them out with my bare hands and pop them back in the kitchen to be served again,’ said one cleaner. She denied that practise was unsavoury, adding, ‘It’s not like I’m involved in food preparation.’