Gemma Collins makes a dramatic entrance into greengrocer’s on foot


Celebrity you’ve never heard of and winner of Take a Break magazine’s ‘most popular woman in a pink tracksuit week beginning 22nd October 2018′ has caused a sensation in her local village by actually walking to her local shop.

‘I couldn’t believe it,’ said local business owner Colin Evans. ‘I had no idea that she could just actually walk.’

‘She came in here, bold as brass, on foot, mark you, and asked for half a kilo of bananas without so much as a ‘by your leave”, he told our reporter. ‘I just stood there! I couldn’t cope!’

The Z-lister’s website shocked fans by posting footage of her arriving at the store under her own steam.

‘I still think it’s a hoax,’ said @gem4ever on Twitter.  ‘She’d never walk! She’d arrive by helicopter, flying moped, on a camel or a llama or on the back of a cgi dinosaur, or something…but never Shanks’ pony.’

A Metroplolitan Police spokesman issued a statement saying that after thorough investigation the CPS has decided not to press charges against Ms Collins for wasting everybody’s time.  Cries of ‘Fake News!’ have flooded social media particularly as Ms Collins has previously denounced bananas as ‘mingin”.


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Posted: Oct 9th, 2019 by

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