Stats show that 95% of dog owner’s admit to having never eaten a sandwich uninterrupted. Recalled one owner: ‘Every time I opened the fridge, no matter how quiet I tried to be or as soon as I reached for the bread, I would hear the thundering of Dexter’s paws as he came careering down the stairs.’
‘Dexter would pause only long enough to confirm that a sandwich was being made, before taking his place on the settee to await his share. Ham and Mustard, Cheese and Pickle, all were the nectar of the gods to Dexter. I would try and enjoy my lunch but it was impossible when you knew two eyes and a sniffing nose were on you’.
At his wits end and having lost half a stone in weight, one owner tried teaching his dog to make his own sandwiches: ‘He can make himself a Cheese on Rye or a Ham and Tomato crusty roll, whenever he is feeling peckish. Using his tongue, he can spread his butter or as he actually prefers, his Flora, like a professional. I do have to make sure we don’t get our tubs mixed up, the one time I did, I don’t think the wife noticed.’
‘The only problem we have has so far, is when the home delivery went wrong and Waitrose swopped his prosciutto for a cauliflower and he went mental’.