Breathalyser has new setting – ‘Come on, just one more!’


A British firm has responded to the nation-wide drop in driver confidence caused by the popularity of devices telling drinkers they’re over the alcohol limit.  The new Ucandrive breathalyser is aimed at ‘advanced drivers’ who are fed up being thwarted by the nanny state drink-drive laws.

‘The six-inch digital display that says ‘You’re fine to drive!’ can be easily read by the most legless pisshead as he gropes for his keys at pub closing time’, explains Ucandrive CEO Jeff Cousins.  ‘And in addition, there’s a GPS feature that alerts you to any parties or pubs open after hours on your route home, just in case you’re not sure if you’ve had enough’.

Robert Young, 31, from Birmingham has never looked back since he bought one of the devices. ‘I was totally lacking in confidence before this,’ he explains.  ‘One sip over the limit and I’d end up standing in the rain trying to hail a taxi, with my car just a few feet away in the pub carpark.  Ucandrive has sent my self-esteem through the roof.  This morning I woke up with a pounding hangover, but at least I was home.  Mind you, the CCTV footage shows I walked the last mile, and it’s believed my missing car went into the river.  But at least I wasn’t shamed in front of my neighbours by arriving home in a minicab’.

The device shows progressive levels of alcohol in your blood, from ‘Eight pints never harmed anyone’ to ‘That tequila chaser will only improve your concentration after the 12 lagers’.  And there’s an extra message for those who own self-driving cars and may be tempted to switch to auto-drive:  ‘You know better than Google!’

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Posted: Oct 16th, 2019 by

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