Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced the agreement of a tentative deal between UK and EU negotiators, including a range of new protocols surrounding the Irish border, and plans for the man who shouts ‘stop Brexit’.
The arrangement is expected to feature a new role for protester Steve Bray, AKA Stop Brexit Man, a popular fixture of TV interviews on College Green, who will be given a special podium at the top of Big Ben on completion of its refurbishment, with unhindered access to top hats and capes.
Recent negotiations have been in deadlock over the ‘Stop Brexit Man question’, with some claiming an arrangement to put Stop Brexit Man in the clock tower to be an effort to contain him, and that the free movement of Bray must remain ‘unhindered’. Others maintain Bray would retain rights to unrestricted shouting and further freedom to convey his message via placard poles of unlimited length. However, the DUP, who may be required to secure the deal, have demanded equal platforming of their own rapidly-designed ‘Keep the Border’ mascot, who some have suggested looks like Arlene Foster in a hired leprechaun costume.
There are fears for Bray among Remainers that any deal will ultimately force the eccentric protester to return to his moribund domestic life and pointless hobbies. However, rumours persist that Bray himself has his own plans for post-Brexit life after he was seen preparing placards reading ‘Start Brentry’.