Environmentalist secretly wants the world to end so they can say ‘I told you so’

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An unnamed member of the Extinction Rebellion has said she was torn between doing the right thing, with its fleeting satisfaction, as opposed to the sheer unbridled joy of being proven right. Despite doing her best to save a willfully stupid population, there is a lot to be said for letting them all drown with melted glacial-water and have their remains eaten by smug dolphins.

She admitted facing a moral dilemma: ‘If I save the world, no one will notice; in fact, they’ll just say, what was all the fuss about? But if I let the environment destruct, I can at least have the brief pleasure of saying I told you so – just before the cockroaches take over.’

Not for the first time has someone with the best of intentions, given up on saving those, who just do not want to be saved – Donald Tusk feels like that everyday. Likewise, God sent a series of warnings to Noah, before saying ‘f$ck it’ and pressed ctril+alt+del.

‘It’s so frustrating talking to climate-change deniers, they refuse to acknowledge evidence, science or even that the world is round’. Sadly, she would never get her chance, as soon after the interview, she choked to death on a piece of broccoli.

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Posted: Oct 21st, 2019 by

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