The Prime Minister formally known as Boris Johnson has changed his name to Diana Ditch. Ms Ditch issued a statement; “Some people seem to have got the wrong end of the stick. They thought I said ‘I would rather die in a ditch than fail to deliver Brexit. But it was always my intention to embrace my feminine side and a delay to Brexit gives me some time to complete the paperwork and have the surgery that gives me what I’ve always craved; a set of boobs I can carry with me always.’
The PM said the legal process of changing his name and gender would definitely be completed by October 31st. ‘I’d give my right arm for that’ he said, as surgeons began measuring his right arm.