A Soho tattoo artist confirmed today that he had just spent three hours attempting to remove a tattoo that he had previously designed and inked onto Boris Johnson’s arse.
One eyed Louis Pearce, explained that when Mr Johnson had first come to see him, he had been very excited as it’s not often that he has such a large expanse of bare flesh to work on and that the Prime Minister had insisted that he wanted something big and bold and colourful, a real statement.
The original design that included Britannia together with her shield and Trident ,surrounded by olive branches and the words Freedom day 31st October 2019, took over twelve hours, spread over three sessions and used six full bottles of coloured inks. Mr Pearce added, that he had asked Mr Johnson, what happens if the date changes, but was immediately rebuffed and told that it would never change, the die was cast, just get it done, we all just want it done.
The tattoo removal apparently took over two hours and according to Louis, was one of the most enjoyable removals he has ever undertaken, using sandpaper, Brillo pads, together with caustic soda soaked cotton wool and with two Downing street aides holding Mr Johnson down, the Prime Minister’s screams could be heard all over Soho.
A further hour was spent, at the Prime Ministers insistence, applying a stick on tattoo to his other buttock which simply read, General Election Winner 12th December 2019.