Hipster fears he may like Dolly Parton unironically

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Carter Peacock, a 22-year-old moustache and pubic hair counsellor from Hackney, is worried that he has dabbled in country and western music too deeply, and may now enjoy Dolly Parton in ways that are almost entirely without irony.

Classic US country music – along with 1980s Scandinavian synth pop and traditional Indonesian gamelan – has been part of the post-post-modern soundtrack to Carter’s night shifts since volunteering at Barley Mode, an all-day-breakfast bar and craft brewhouse set up ironically in a disused Brewers Fayre pub.

‘But it’s not just the music,’ confessed the culturally inappropriate Carter. ‘I keep having wet dreams about that terrifyingly-breasted 73-year-old Tennessean song-dwarf – and now my usual cocoa-butter tantric wanks over Dua Lipa deepfakes just seem depressingly tame.’

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2019 by

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