What if James Joyce had been hired to write Donald Trump’s speeches?

JoyceTrump

‘Something. Anything. A beautiful thing. So beautiful. It could be big, really so big. Huge. A great big wonderful beautiful thing. Just the biggest. And the beautifulest. Bigly. With good people. Such good people. Our people are wonderful, aren’t they? Yeah they’re good. So good, yes they are. You know it, folks. They’re tremendous. Just so fantastic. FACT.

Wow! Do you agree? Yeah, I bet you do. Hey, get that guy out of here. How did he get past security? He’s not a good guy. He’s terrible. Just awful. No good at all. So bad. Matter of fact he’s the worst. Yeah, he’s definitely the worst. A lotta people tell me so. They say to me, that guy’s the worst. He’s a bum. Such a bum. Do we want a bum like him in here, folks? Do we? No, you bet we don’t. Get him the hell outta here. Do you agree? Yeah! So long, loser. SAD!

Fantastic. We’re doing a fantastic job. Just so fantastic. Everybody says so. Just ask them. They tell me all the time. I’ve got much wisdom yet there’s a witch hunt on Donald Trump. As a matter of fact the biggest in political history. Get Trump, they say. They-want-to-get-me. Can you believe that? Well don’t worry, they won’t get me because they can’t.

I don’t get much credit for all this good stuff I’m making happen, but (sighs) that’s OK. I’m used to that. I can live with it.

Bad places, some real bad places. There’s a guy who can take you to a bad place and leave you stranded there. You’d be on your own, just stranded. All alone. Lonesome. He could be so bad for you and bad for us. That wouldn’t be good. It would be bad. Just so bad. Give that guy the bum’s rush. Get him the hell outta there. He’s a schmuck. Do a deal with some other guy. You’d be great together. He likes you, he told me. He’s my friend. You’d have fantastic numbers. Wow, so big. Huge numbers.

I have a magic wand. Well-known fact. All I have to do is wave it and amazing things happen. Great things. They’re the most incredible things and I make them happen. Yes folks, Donald Trump makes stuff happen. He really does.

Wrote a book once. A great book. Did well too. Sold a lot of copies. Just so many. Amazing number of copies. Biggest best seller ever. Check it out. It’s just so fantastic. Truly incredible!

God Bless America.’

hat-tip to Sir  Lupus

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Posted: Nov 4th, 2019 by

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