The Royal Family will put aside their differences for a few hours today in order to make the Remembrance Day celebrations all about them.
Millions of people around the world will tune in to the BBC hoping to see a dignified ceremony, honouring those that lost their lives in battle but what they will get instead is a three hour soft power pageant, a fawning farce aimed at perpetuating the Royal myth.
The annual Festival of Remembrance should be about the servicemen and women who lost their lives defending the country, the Royals will actually make sure the event is all about them.
Although TV cameras will occasionally focus on veterans who served in the armed forces they will mostly be trained on the faces of Queen Elizabeth, Prince Harry, Meghan and Beatrice etc.
There undoubtedly will be long and lingering close ups of the various sashes, braids and service medals worn by Prince Charles and if there is any time left during the three hour ceremony, cameras may possibly show the odd shot of a few old cripples in wheelchairs.
‘We are here to remember those that made the ultimate sacrifice, those that died defending our great nation so that Prince Andrew can spend his days playing golf and that maybe one day, those lucky enough to survive the horrors of war could eventually see Prince Edward elevated from an earl to a duke,’ said a spokesman.
‘We did ask veterans in the crowd if they would be happy to send their grandchildren off to die on behalf of todays Royal family…..but apart from a little chubby bloke called Mark who says he’s in the Territorials, so far we’ve drawn a blank.’
‘And yes….Prince Charles WILL be wearing his big sword again….and no, we don’t know what the fuck that’s all about either’.