Tory party offers mixed bags of policies for 99p

pick n mix

Householders all across the country are said to be delighted that the Conservative party have brought a touch of nostalgia to this year’s General election. Tory party workers going door to door are offering voters an idea from the past first introduced by dear old Woollies back in the day, the famous Pick ‘ N’ Mix.

Voters simply look through the list of Election promises made by the three main parties ,either select the policies that they feel are most important to them, or make up their own and the Tories promise to make it happen.

Mrs Ivy Dinsdale, a lifelong abstainer, told reporters that this time Boris is definitely getting her vote.

‘The Conservatives are wonderful,’ she said. ‘They really listen.’

‘They told me that I can have any policies I like, I just name them and they promise that they will do it.’

‘My husband chose, more doctors for the NHS, sending back all the darkies, except that nice Mr Khan from the corner shop and for the car factory he works at not to close. My picks were, getting a pension before I am 87, annexing the Sudetenland and for our Doris to get a council flat.

It was so easy, the lovely gentlemen who knocked, wrote it all down and would you believe, he actually telephoned his boss on his mobile, there and then and got us a special deal.

As long as we signed up today and promised to vote Tory, Boris would deliver everything we wished for.

It’s like living in a dream world,’ said Ivy.

Hat tip to Crayon

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2019 by

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