Boris Johnson has apologised for his apparent lack of concern about the floods in Yorkshire, saying he’d always assumed everything north of Watford was the Lake District.
Aides were said to be shocked when, on being shown footage of a flooded Yorkshire village, he waxed lyrical about the beauties of nature, recited a few lines of verse that came to him and wondered aloud whether “William and Dorothy” had ever stayed there.
When it was explained to him where Yorkshire is, he said “Right yes, got it, this was the coal mining bit wasn’t it? Thank God we shut down the mines in the 80s or they might all have drowned. And I bet we won’t get any credit for it.”