A council in England has come under scrutiny after its scheme to use potholes as flood plains hasn’t prevented widespread flooding.
“The plan seemed flawless”, the council’s chief officer of penny-pinching told us, wearing a pristine, neatly-ironed fluorescent jacket. “Not only do we save money not having to fill in potholes that reappear quicker than a prince at a sex offender’s prison release, but we also add extra remote capacity to the local river.”
Sadly, despite the local roads being made up from more holes than tarmac, it wasn’t quite enough to stop residents having to deal with the aftermath of river water and raw sewage flowing through their homes, and the emotional torment of visiting opportunistic politicians.
The council has said that although the plan wasn’t perfect, it did have some merits. It has now promised to invest in proper flood management. “The capacity of the potholes should be enough to hold the extra water, it’s just that they are in the wrong location”, the officer explained, “that’s why we are going to dig the potholes up and relocate them to the river bank”