Hancock tells voters: ‘Blame Britain’s current woes on Clement Attlee’

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In an extraordinary claim made during an appearance at a hustings meeting in Newmarket, Health Minister Matt Hancock, has blamed the current state of Britain’s economy on the post-WW2 Labour Government under Prime Minister Clement Attlee.

‘Almost three-quarters of a century later, we are still having to work flat-out to repair the catastrophic damage Attlee did,’ said Mr Hancock, apparently forgetting about the many Tory administrations since 1951, including the current one of nine years not to mention many significant others; most notably Margaret Thatcher’s three consecutive terms in office between 1979 and 1990

‘Mr Attlee’s post-war government introduced measures which the nation still has yet to recover from. There is no doubt about it, the current state we find ourselves in is purely down to him and and his party’s profligate irresponsible madness,’ the Health Secretary told the packed hall, amid catcalls of “nonsense” “bollocks” “fuck off you smug arsehole” and widespread murmurs of shocked incredulity.

But facing down his doubters Hancock added: ‘If you want proof then you need look no further than this crazy NHS experiment Attlee’s government  created. You know, we call it the money pit in Cabinet. Such a misguided bleeding heart modern-day snowflake ahead-of-its-time idea.’

‘Look, what on earth is the point in keeping the poor and disadvantaged alive essentially for free? If they can’t pay, well… tough luck. Just think of all the money we’d save if we were to let them become naturally extinct.’

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Posted: Nov 19th, 2019 by

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