In a bid to find new and inventive policies that end with the electoral soundbite “…to help fund our NHS”, the Conservative party have announced a £5bn cut to hospitals and GP services.
Speaking in front of a group of carefully selected random members of the public, Boris Johnson outlined the policy. “Whether it’s leaving Europe, not cutting corporation tax or keeping the food bank sector thriving through universal credit reforms, every policy can become electoral gold if it ends with the phrase ‘to help fund our NHS’. As we find ourselves running of things to cut, we have taken the bold and brave decision to slash the budget of hospitals by £5bn a year, and use £1.5bn of that saving to, well, help fund our NHS”.
Asked if he thought the public would buy such an obviously flawed policy, Mr Johnson explained that a similar idea had already been trialled with the police budget with great success. “We cut 21,000 experienced officers over the last ten years saving us enough money to fund 20,000 new officers. Our supporters still cheer for that and put it on big signs, so I don’t think this will be a problem.”
The Prime Minister continued on to explain that the extra £1.5bn would mainly be used on maintenance, however wouldn’t specify whether that was outstanding buildings maintenance or outstanding maintenance payments