Boris biopic to be renamed “No Bridges”


In an embarrassing climbdown for Hollywood, it was revealed today that “The Bridge”, the forthcoming biopic about Boris Johnson’s time as Mayor of London, has had to be renamed due to a mistake in counting the number of bridges he built.

“OK, so we didn’t actually fly to London,” admitted a harassed executive today. “But we looked at the city’s accounts, and it’s all there in black and white – 56 million spent on this so-called ‘garden bridge’. Now you’re telling me there’s no goddamn bridge?”

“Sure, we can rename the film ‘No Bridges’ and reshoot any scene where he says he built a bridge. But who the hell’s gonna pay to see that?”

Fortunately, an independent fact-checking service provided by Conservative Central Office has confirmed that Mayor Johnson did indeed build a bridge, linking Middle Earth and Narnia.

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Posted: Nov 21st, 2019 by

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