In an embarrassing climbdown for Hollywood, it was revealed today that “The Bridge”, the forthcoming biopic about Boris Johnson’s time as Mayor of London, has had to be renamed due to a mistake in counting the number of bridges he built.
“OK, so we didn’t actually fly to London,” admitted a harassed executive today. “But we looked at the city’s accounts, and it’s all there in black and white – 56 million spent on this so-called ‘garden bridge’. Now you’re telling me there’s no goddamn bridge?”
“Sure, we can rename the film ‘No Bridges’ and reshoot any scene where he says he built a bridge. But who the hell’s gonna pay to see that?”
Fortunately, an independent fact-checking service provided by Conservative Central Office has confirmed that Mayor Johnson did indeed build a bridge, linking Middle Earth and Narnia.