Publish and be damned says the Independent Press Standards Authority

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Following recent accusations that some British newspapers have been complicit in helping both the Conservative party and the Brexit party in spreading lies and deceit ,the Independent Press Standards Authority has issued a new set of guidelines and warned of draconian fines, should these guidelines be ignored.

According to a press release, the penalty for publishing a story that the newspaper knows to be completely false will be £39, rising to £45 if not paid in 21 days. For publishing lies, falsehoods and pure fabrication which are later found to have had a proven effect on a general election, the fine will be a massive £75.

‘This could be a game changer’, said one industry insider.  ‘£ 39 is almost the cost of a Tory MP’s breakfast, and it is unlikely that any of the multi millionaires that run Britain’s newspaper could sustain that level of fines for any length of time.’

Dom Cummings, editor of the Daily Mail, hit back at the IPSA, saying that they were trying to stifle freedom of speech and to make an Englishman afraid to voice his opinion.

Referring to the Mail on Sunday’s front page story, Mr Cummings said that it was indeed their opinion that Jeremy Corbyn had been arrested by police in Macclesfield on Saturday evening for assaulting two minors in a McDonald’s lavatory.

He accepted that later in the day, it was now the Macclesfield Police force’s opinion that this incident had never happened, that Jeremy Corbyn has in fact never ever been to Macclesfield and that the branch of McDonalds mentioned in the article had closed over three years ago.

‘Everyone is entitled to their opinion’, argued Cummins. ‘If you read Richard Littlejohn’s article in tomorrow’s newspaper, you can read his opinion of how the IPSA is a front for a Labour led Marxist group that has been under investigation by MI5 and MI6 since it was first founded by the Russian born, one time member of the provisional IRA, Ken Livingstone.’

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Posted: Nov 26th, 2019 by

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