Reports of hot tub & matching dressing gowns ahead of Marr Boris ‘crunch clash’


In stark contrast to the savaging received by Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn at the hands of Andrew Neil earlier this week, it’s understood that bumbling buffoon and lily-livered craven coward Boris Johnson will receive a somewhat less spiky and bruising reception when he appears on Marr tomorrow.

A runner on the show who wished not to be identified has spoken of a sedan chair having been delivered to the studios this afternoon apparently for Mr Johnson’s arrival on the set tomorrow. The insider also confirmed, that at the Tory’s request, the nothing-very-much-off-limits…ish…well you know within reason… but bloody tough interview is to be conducted with both men sitting in a hot tub in which the water will be strewn with delicately perfumed and specially cultivated blue rose petals.

Mr Johnson’s campaign team is still refusing to comment on a separate ongoing row where it has been alleged he is running scared of a one-on-one encounter with Andrew Neil for fear of being exposed as a vacuous and completely clueless out-of-touch twit.

Brandon Lewis, who apparently is not a dodgy secondhand car salesman but in fact Tory Party Chairman, has denied suggestions Mr Johnson is terrified of facing Mr Neil. He told reporters: ‘Not a bit of it. Boris is a very clever man and well-capable of running rings around Mr Neil in the intellectual sense. A polymath and renowned classicist who is fluent at spouting utter shite in several languages. He can even do it in Latin for goodness sake.’

Meanwhile Harrods press office is remaining tight-lipped over rumours they have received a rush order for matching fleece dressing gowns, embroidered Andy & Bozza, to be sent to the BBC ahead of the programme.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2019 by

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