As political hustings collide with the festive season, a new terror is now stalking the electorate – Carolling Canvassers. Familiar festive carols are now receiving a ‘makeover’ to carry a party message in the stead of the normal ‘doorstopping’ of voters.
Labour party rewrites include ‘Kindly Comrade Wenceslaus’ as well as a 97-verse diatribe against NHS mismanagement to the tune of ‘Away In A Manger’. The latter has actually led to a net increase in donations to the party ‘just to make them stop singing’.
Elsewhere, the LibDems have repurposed ‘O Little Town of Bethlehem’ to push one of their key policies –
O Little Brexit Voting Town,
Misled By All Their Lies.
When we win,
We’re staying in,
despite your anguished cries
The Conservatives have also been attempting to bolster votes with the catchy ‘Hark The Merchant Bankers Sing, Boris Is Our New Found King’, as well as a summary of the Exit Deal levered into the framework of ‘I Saw Free-Trade Ships Come Sailing In …’.
However there has been universal condemnation of the UKIP / Brexit treatment of ‘We Three Kings… ‘, now reduced to a single verse with the present-laden Orient potentates instructed to ‘Fuck the Fuck Off Back To Afar, You’re Not Coming In’