Institute of (Funeral) directors backs Boris


With the UK manufacturing and construction industries in recession and the wider economy no longer bumbling along but showing signs of complete breakdown, one group of directors have nevertheless come out clearly in favour of a future Tory government.

‘We think the Conservatives are doing a grand job’, said Malcolm Smedley, chairman of the Institute of Funeral Directors.

‘Obviously we see winter as our bonus period’, he went on, ‘but frankly ten years of austerity has boosted our profits to previously unseen levels. If Boris is PM on 13th December we’ll be looking to open another new premises early next year.’

‘We thought we’d have a few extra customers from those austerity measures but the actual figures have exceeded our expectations. Throw in a cold Xmas and me and Doreen will get that third holiday in the Maldives. Come on Boris, we’ve never had it so good.’

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2019 by

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